Roses
by PrincessWanheda
Summary: It all starts when Dean steals a rose from Castiel's garden. From there blossoms an unforgettable love neither of them will forget, but also a reminder that nothing lasts forever.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! New story (and I promise this will actually be going somewhere)**

 **This was originally going to be a one-shot, but then I realized that I had so many ideas to pack into this.**

 **Anyway, thanks for taking interest in this story. I hope you'll stick with it until the end! Now, without further ado...**

* * *

He was there again. That same man. Stealing one of the roses from his rose bush. Why does he do this?

Castiel looked out the window on that early Saturday morning at the same blond, green-eyed man who came by every week and picked one of his red roses. It was always in the morning (before he went to work, probably) and he always stood there for a second before picking it, almost like he knew he shouldn't be doing this.

It was always consistent. Every Saturday, since the roses started blooming, he stopped and looked at them. He eventually settled on one he deemed as sufficient and picked it. He always looked ashamed after he picked one, but carried it off anyway.

"Why does this guy always pick my roses?" Castiel mumbled to himself.

Gabriel was washing dishes in the kitchen. He put down the one he was washing and glanced out the window. "Why don't you go out there and ask him instead of waiting by the window like a creep?" Gabriel leaned against the door frame and smirked at his younger brother.

"I'm not like you," Castiel growled. "I can't just go out there and-"

"Yes you can," Gabriel encouraged him. "Otherwise, you'll just spend another Saturday thinking about him."

Castiel scowled but listened to his older brother. "Fine." He stood up from his chair near the window and walked out the door.

The strange, blond man was walking away with one of his roses in hand when he got outside. "Hey!" Castiel yelled.

The man froze and turned around slowly.

"Who's the girl?" Castiel asked.

"What?" The man asked. "What are you talking about?" Castiel walked up to the man and gestured to the rose.

"The girl your bringing one of my roses to." Castiel crossed his arms. "I want to make sure she is pretty enough to warrant a flower theft," Castiel smirked, despite how nervous he was. He never just talked to anyone out of the blue. That was always Gabriel's department. He usually just waited until he was talked to, but even then he could barely hold a conversation.

"So you're coming with me?" The man seemed to be just about as nervous as Castiel was.

"Yup," Castiel said as he walked towards the man. "Besides, I needed to get out of the house anyway."

The man took a few hesitant steps forward and Castiel followed him. "What's your name?" The man asked after a few moments of silence.

"Castiel," he replied simply. "And you?"

"Dean. Dean Winchester."

 _Winchester? Why did that sound familiar?_ Castiel asked himself.

"So tell me, _Dean Winchester,_ " Castiel took a quick look at his surroundings and realized they weren't heading into town. No, they were going towards the church on the outskirts of town. "where are we going?"

"You wanted to meet the girl, didn't you?" Dean smiled gently before turning towards the church and opening the gate to the graveyard. "Well, here she is."

Castiel followed Dean around until they stopped in front of a headstone that read _Mary Winchester- December 5th, 1954- November 2nd, 2017._

Castiel's mouth felt dry and he immediately felt like an ass. "Was- was this your mother?" He managed to rasp out.

Dean nodded. "Yeah. She was fighting cancer. Lung cancer to be specific." Dean gently lowered the bright rose onto her grave, which was surrounded by several other roses that he managed to pick from his garden.

"I'm so sorry," Castiel said. "I didn't mean to-"

"No, it's fine," Dean chuckled, but Castiel sensed sadness behind it. "I was the one stealing roses from your garden after all."

"Why do you? Pick my roses, I mean?"

Dean hesitated. "They have more meaning than store-bought flowers. If you pick the flowers and bring them to a grave, it just-" He sighed. "I don't know. It made sense in my head, but saying it out loud-"

"I know what you mean," Castiel interrupted. "When my mother passed away, I would always go to the greenhouse and steal just one flower and set it on her gravestone." He smiled sadly at the memory. "I think I did that because it reminded me of the risks and sacrifices she made for me and Gabriel."

Dean nodded slowly. "If you feel uncomfortable, you can leave."

"Do you want me to leave?" Castiel asked immediately. "I don't feel uncomfortable, but if you want me to leave, I can."

Dean shook his head. "No, you can stay." Dean sat down on the damp grass and patted the spot next to him. "Sit."

Castiel did as he was told and sat down next to Dean. "Tell me about her," Castiel said softly. "About your mother."

Dean glanced at him. "What do want to know?"

"Tell me-" Castiel thought for a moment. "-tell me some of her favorite things."

"Okay." Dean thought for a moment. "She liked cookouts with the family every Saturday in the summer." Dean smiled as he reminisced. "We would always have burgers and we always invited the Harvelles over. They were our next door neighbors. Jo, Ash, Sam, and I would always just run around aimlessly while the parents sat and talked about politics or something. Of course, when the four of us got older, we eventually joined in on the conversation."

Castiel nodded along as he listened to Dean tell him about his mother. He could tell, even when it was early April, he missed her.

"What about you?" Dean suddenly asked. "What happened to your mom?"

"Leukemia," Castiel said. "It was over three years ago. I hardly think about it if I can help it."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Don't be," Castiel said. "At least you didn't hound a stranger you see picking a rose from your garden about a girl you think he's going to see."

Dean chuckled softly. "Your garden isn't a flower shop. I should be the one apologizing."

"So you're an all talk and no play kind of guy, huh?" Castiel smirked. When Dean gave him a confused look, he explained, "You keep saying you're going to apologize, but you haven't so far."

"Fine. I'm sorry for stealing your roses," Dean said. "Happy?"

"Yes, now I am," Castiel grinned.

It was silent for a moment, just the two of them sitting on the cold grass.

"We should probably get going," Dean said as he stood up. Castiel stood up next to him. "You know, even though you thought I was trying to woo a girl with your admittedly gorgeous flowers, it was actually nice to have someone to be with. Thanks."

Castiel blushed slightly. "You're welcome."

The two of them walked back towards Castiel's house in silence, neither of them having anything else to really say to each other. Castiel liked Dean. Even though their first meet wasn't really planned, it worked out okay. Hell, he might've just made a friend without his brother talking them up first.

Castiel's house came into view too quickly for his liking. He wished the walk would last at least a little longer. _Oh well,_ He thought to himself. _There's always next Saturday._

"I guess this is where I leave you," Dean said.

"Yeah," Castiel was reluctant to leave.

Dean also seemed hesitant to leave.

"You know," Castiel started. "if you ever need someone to go with you to visit your mom, I'm here on most Saturdays."

Dean flashed him a small smile. "I'll keep that in mind." He raised his hand and waved to Castiel. "I'll see you 'round, Cas."

"Cas?"

"Castiel's kind of a mouthful," Dean explained. "Cas is easier to say." He turned and walked into town.

* * *

"So, he hesitated to leave and when he left, you didn't stop him?" Gabriel asked as he scrubbed the coffee house counter. "You should have followed him. Or at least got his number."

"I know," Castiel said from the bar stool. "I just didn't want to come off too strong."

"Baby bro, I have to tell you something," Gabriel set down the rag. "Subtlety isn't your strong suit. You're more of the straightforward and upfront kind of guy." He dunked the rag in a bucket of water and wrung it out before scrubbing the counter again. "Trust me, I should know."

Castiel took a sip of his chai tea. "You're right," He admitted. "I'm not good at being subtle."

Gabriel chuckled. It was silent between the two of them for a minute before the bell above the door rang, signaling a customer. "Cas?"

Castiel turned around. It was Dean. "Hello, Dean," Castiel said and turned back to his tea.

Dean sat down on the bar stool next to him. "I'll have-" Dean thought for a moment. "-just black coffee."

Gabriel snapped and gave him a thumbs up. "You got it," He said and started brewing the coffee.

"So, what brings you here at two in the afternoon?" Dean asked Castiel.

"I could ask you the same thing," Castiel said.

"I'll have to work late tonight," Dean explained. "I had two sick calls earlier today, so I'll have to make up their work. You?"

Castiel pointed to Gabriel. "He's my brother," He explained.

"Guilty," Gabriel raised his hand and looked over at the two of them.

"And I live with him," Castiel continued. "It gets kind of boring at the house alone."

Dean nodded as Gabriel brought over his coffee. "What do I owe you?"

Gabriel smiled. "Shop's closing soon. It's on the house."

Dean raised his eyebrows but took out a ten dollar bill anyway. "Fine. Here's a tip."

"Thanks," Gabriel said as he brought his cleaning supplies to some of the other tables.

"So, where do you work?" Castiel asked.

"Winchester Motors. Downtown," Dean took a sip of his coffee and winced from the heat. "My dad used to own it, but he handed the business down to me when he retired."

"I knew your name sounded familiar," Castiel mumbled to himself.

"What about you?" Dean asked.

"Looking for work," Castiel sighed and swirled the leftover liquid in his cup. "Gabriel is the one who supports the two of us."

Dean nodded. "If my business wasn't starting to go under, I'd offer you a job."

Castiel gave Dean a confused look. "Going under?" He asked. "What's happening?"

Dean shrugged like it was nothing. "Loss of customers because of an article in January's newspaper. I chewed out a woman who didn't pay her bill and she went on a rant about our credibility. She wrote a letter to the editor complaining about how terrible our service was and all that." He took a sip of his coffee. "She lied, of course, but people will believe any rumor."

"Damn, that sucks," Castiel said.

"It was in early December when I chewed her out," Dean off-handly mentioned.

"So, shortly after your mother died, then," Castiel muttered.

Dean nodded. "I was still sour about my mom dying. Some of that shifted into anger and I lashed out at some of my customers. Been losing customers ever since."

It was silent between the two of them for a moment before Dean downed the rest of his coffee and stood up. "We need to come up with some different, less depressing topics to talk about." He gestured for Castiel to come with him. "Come on, let's get something to eat."

Castiel glanced at Gabriel swiftly, who gestured wildly for Castiel to follow Dean. Castiel took his advice and followed Dean out of the small shop.

Gabriel grinned to himself before going back to scrubbing counters. He loved his brother to death, but he needed to get out there sometime. It was about time someone showed interest in him.


	2. Chapter 2

Dean ended up taking him to a cheap diner, but Castiel didn't care. Both he and Dean were low on money and probably couldn't afford any fancy places to eat.

Dean had ordered a simple bacon cheeseburger and Castiel, since he had eaten recently, just ordered water. Dean's food came out fairly quickly and actually looked good considering the place they were at. It was still dripping in fat and grease, but it smelled amazing.

"Do you want any fries or anything?" Dean asked with his mouth full.

Castiel shook his head. "I'm good." He was wracking his brain trying to think of something to say, but nothing was coming to him.

Luckily, Dean had a few questions.

"So, besides the guy at the coffee shop, do you have any siblings?" Dean practically inhaled his cheeseburger and was now picking at the fries, but Castiel didn't comment. He figured he might've gone a little while without eating since his business was going under.

Castiel nodded. "One other. His name's Michael and he's in the army. And Gabriel, the one at the coffee shop, was the one who helped me finish high school. Michael took off the first chance he could."

"How old are you?"

"I'm twenty-two," Castiel said. "You?"

"Twenty-five." Dean took a sip of his water. "How old were you when your mom passed away?"

"I was eighteen. Just finishing high school" Castiel narrowed his eyes playfully at Dean. "I thought you wanted us to talk about 'less depressing' topics."

Dean smirked and picked at the few fries he had left on his plate. "Did you ever go to college?"

Castiel shook his head. "That's why it's so hard for me to find work. Nobody wants someone who's had no college experience." Castiel shifted in his seat. "After mom died and Michael went back to the Middle East, it just left Gabriel and me. Gabriel only went through a semester of college before he came back to help me through high school. He's been working at that coffee house ever since I graduated."

"And you're the one hounding me about being depressing." Dean gave him a toothy smile to show Castiel he was joking.

"Hey, you're the one who asked the question," Castiel retorted, but without any bite.

The waitress came back and took away Dean's plate and gave him the check. He pulled out his wallet and handed the cash to the waitress, who scowled at the lousy tip. Dean obviously felt bad for it, so Castiel pulled out his wallet and left a five dollar bill on the table before they left.

"You don't have to do that, you know," Dean said as they walked out.

Castiel shrugged. "I know, but you paid for my water and invited me to sit with you. It's the least I could do."

They walked back to the coffee house side-by-side. Dean was walking so close to Castiel that their knuckles occasionally brushed against each other. Castiel resisted the strong urge to grab it.

Again, their destination came into view too quickly for Castiel's liking. He couldn't explain why he wanted to spend more time with Dean, he just did.

And, when they arrived at the coffee shop, Dean again seemed hesitant to leave. They stood there in silence, just staring each other in the eyes before Dean clapped his hands together and said, "Well, I better get to work."

"Probably," Castiel said, not breaking eye contact. "I'm sure you have quite a few cars to work on since you're alone today."

Dean nodded was silent for another moment with just the two of them looking into each other's eyes. Castiel attempted to count Dean's scattered freckles, but ended up losing count and having to start again.

Dean glanced at Castiel's lips for a moment before stepping forward and placing a chaste kiss on them. Castiel stood there motionless and probably looking like an idiot as Dean pulled away.

Dean looked nervous as he glanced at Castiel's eyes then at his shoes. "I'll, uh, see you around?" Dean scratched the back of his head, his cheeks turning pink.

A small grin spread across Castiel's face as he stepped a little closer to Dean and cupped his cheek. He guided Dean's lips back towards his and kissed his passionately. "Yes." Castiel pulled away, but was still so close, he could feel Dean's breath on his lips. "You will see me around."

* * *

"You kissed him!" Gabriel exclaimed as he flipped through the channels on their TV that night. Grace, their old and feeble cat, was napping on the armrest beside Gabriel.

"Actually, he kissed me first," Castiel corrected as he leaned against the doorway to the kitchen and finished drying a plate. They always seemed to have dirty dishes lying around and, being a clean freak, it annoyed the hell out of Castiel. "I just let him know I was okay with it."

"Okay with it?" Gabriel faced Castiel. "Cassie, that was your first actual kiss with a guy! I'm sure you were ecstatic!"

"Maybe I was." Castiel shrugged and grabbed Grace off the armrest and sat down. Grace started purring and leaned into his touch as he pet behind her ear. "Okay, fine, I was pretty fucking excited."

"Can I give you some advice?" Gabriel said solemnly, a serious tone he rarely used. When Castiel looked at him, he continued, "Don't let this guy be like dad. Don't let this guy just use you for sex and when something serious comes along, pack bags and ditch."

Castiel nodded. "It won't be."

Gabriel, seeming satisfied with the answer, turned his attention back to the TV. After a few moments of flipping through the few channels they had, he eventually gave up. "Ugh! There's never anything good on!" He complained and threw Castiel the remote. "You choose something. I'm getting tired anyway."

Gabriel stood up from his chair and sauntered back to his room.

Castiel sat and thought for a moment before standing up, which startled Grace, and making a cup of coffee to go. He knew exactly where Winchester Motors was at and knew it was within walking distance, so he decided to visit Dean. He didn't really think much about coming off too strong or being too clingy, but he really didn't care. If Dean didn't like him for who he was, then he could go screw himself.

With two cups of coffee in hand, he walked down the sidewalk. It was nearing nine o' clock, so it wasn't too terribly dark outside.

On his way to the garage, Castiel thought about what could happen between him and Dean. If this was going to turn into something serious, they'd need to talk about it. Castiel had never been in an actual relationship without Gabriel setting him and someone else, who he usually didn't really take a liking to, up. This could actually turn into something. It was scary to think that he'd either get his heart broken or they'd end up together. Or maybe he'd end up breaking Dean's heart.

Thoughts wracking his brain, Castiel nearly missed Winchester Motors. He knocked on the door and waited a couple seconds.

Dean opened the door covered in motor oil and grease. He was wiping his hands down with an extremely dirty rag. "Cas?" He asked, leaning against the door frame. "What're you doing here?"

"I figured you'd still be here working, since you said you'd be working late, so I brought you some coffee." Castiel held one mug out for Dean to take.

"Thanks," Dean said. "Is there anything else?"

Castiel pursed his lips and thought. He didn't really want to have the 'did that kiss earlier today mean anything?' talk with Dean just yet, so he shook his head. "No, not really."

Dean chuckled and went back inside, but left the door open, so Castiel walked inside.

"I feel pretty accomplished," Dean started off as he popped the hood of a car. "I got two cars done since we last saw each other and I got one guy to pay his bill."

"That's good," Castiel commented. He took a sip of coffee. "Was that bill overdue?"

"Big time," Dean replied immediately. "Two months ago I worked on his damn car and he pays the three hundred dollar bill now." Dean sighed as he reached for a wrench and tightened something on the car. "You know, the excuse people give to not pay smaller bills like that is just because it's a small bill, that it doesn't even matter. But, when you get a shit ton of those piling up on each other, you have a problem."

"I bet that's annoying." Castiel leaned against the car Dean was working on.

"You have no idea," Dean scowled. "And then, on top of the shitty customers who don't pay, you have my workers who demand more money to keep themselves afloat. Never mind me going under holding you two lazy assholes above water." He glanced at Castiel who gave him a sympathetic look. "Sorry."

"No, it's fine." Castiel waved it off. "You need someone to vent to otherwise you're going to drive yourself mad." He looked down at his coffee mug and swirled the liquid around in the cup.

"I'm sensing some anger to vent. What's up?" Dean turned to Castiel completely, leaving his work unfinished for now.

Castiel sighed and let his head fall backwards onto the car's roof. "It's nothing."

"Oh, come on." Dean stepped closer to Castiel, arms brushing against each other. "What's eating you?"

"People. People are 'eating me,'" Castiel said.

"Cannibals," Dean mumbled jokingly. He took a swig of his coffee.

Castiel chuckled lightly. "I just don't understand why people are always judgmental of each other. Why can't we all just be kind to one another? Is it really that hard to try and brighten someone's day instead of stepping on it?" He exhaled loudly.

"Did something happen today?" Dean asked quietly.

Castiel shook his head. "No, I've been holding on to this for a while," He mumbled.

Dean nodded and gently took Castiel's hand in his. "Well, just so you know, I'll be there if you ever need me."

Castiel turned to face him. "Thanks."

Dean cupped Castiel's cheek with his free (and admittedly dirty) hand and kissed him. And with that, Castiel knew he and Dean felt the same way about each other.


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel ended up staying at Dean's shop for over two hours. Dean was mildly upset when Castiel looked at his watch and said he should probably get going. Dean gave him a quick kiss goodbye and said he should probably finish up his work then head home. Dean made sure he punched his number into Castiel's phone before he left.

"I'll call you tomorrow," Castiel promised.

Dean gave him a small smile and kissed him softly. "I'll be expecting it."

Castiel walked home with a smile on his face. He probably looked like a creep, but he didn't care.

He walked into the house when fatigue started to kick in. He flopped down on the couch after he slipped off his shoes. Grace slipped up beside him and purred. Castiel lazily rubbed her head and scratched behind her ear.

"How was Dean?" A voice asked. Castiel sprung up, making Grace panic and run behind the couch.

"Dammit, Gabriel!" Castiel sighed and ran a hand down his face. "How did you know?"

Gabriel scoffed and turned on the light. Castiel blinked until he got used to the change of lighting. "Hmm, let me think: little Cassie would sneak out, but what for? Milkshake? No, he brought coffee with him. Some girl he met? Nope, he's as gay as a unicorn pooping rainbows." Gabriel smirked.

"It was really that obvious, huh?" Castiel sighed and sat back down on the couch. Grace hopped back up and kneaded her paws on his pants.

"Yup," Gabriel sat down next to him.

"I thought you were going to bed," Castiel turned to his older brother who shrugged.

"I did, but then I heard you leave and was determined to scare the crap out of you when you got back," Gabriel turned to him and yawned. "Okay, but now I'm going to bed. You should too." Gabriel stood up and walked back to his room.

Castiel laid back on the couch and Grace curled up on his stomach. It didn't take long for him to fall asleep.

* * *

"Cas! God dammit. Cas! Wake up!" Gabriel screamed next to him.

Castiel shot up and was instantly met with a throbbing pain in his head.

Gabriel sat back and sighed in relief. "Thank God," He sighed. "I thought you were dead."

"Why would you-" Castiel trailed off as he looked at the armrest on the couch. It was soaked with dry blood. "Holy shit."

"No fucking kidding," Gabriel said. He frowned. "You don't look so good."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, besides the blood on the couch, you're drenched in sweat."

Castiel laid back down on the couch, the dried blood making the back of his neck itchy. "What the hell happened to me?"

"Dean wasn't sick, was he?"

"I don't think so," Castiel said. "He didn't mention anything."

"I don't think so," Castiel said. "He didn't mention anything."

Gabriel frowned. "You must've caught something," He said.

"Really?" Castiel said sarcastically. "How did you figure that out?"

"Okay, Cas. I know you're feeling like shit, but you don't need to be such a little prick," Gabriel said. "Okay, stay there. I'll get you a glass of water. I can call in sick for work today."

"No, you don't have to do that," Castiel said. "I don't need a sitter."

Gabriel came back from the kitchen with a small glace of water. "Give me your phone."

"I just said I don't need a sitter."

"Well, you're not staying here alone and I'm not taking you to the coffee shop." Gabriel crossed his arms. "So give me your phone."

Castiel huffed and reached into his pocket. Gabriel grabbed it and began searching through Castiel's contacts. When he found the one he was looking for, he called. "Hey, Dean-o!" He chirped. "No, this is Gabriel, Cassie's brother."

Castiel's groaned and scowled at Gabriel. "I said I don't need a sitter. I'm fine!"

"He's just being stubborn. Yeah, come on over. I'm leaving for work soon, so if you're not busy-" Gabriel paused and listened to Dean's response. Suddenly, a grin spread across his face. "Sounds good! I'll wait here until you get here."

He hung up the phone and Castiel glared at him. "What?" Gabriel asked innocently.

"Why would you call Dean over?"

"Because, if he's gonna be dating my little brother, I need to make sure he doesn't run at the first sign of trouble." Gabriel stated. He crossed his arms. "If you two are going to continue what you have, he's going to see you look like shit at least on one occasion."

Dean got to their house about fifteen minutes later. "Hey Cas," He said when he walked in. "What's up?" He glanced at Castiel with a smile, but it faded when he saw all the blood on the armrest.

"I think his nose started bleeding in the middle of the night," Gabriel explained. "I thought someone came in and stabbed him or something when I saw him this morning."

"Don't you have to work today?" Castiel asked.

Dean shook his head. "I requested a sick day," He said. "If Benny and Ash can have one, so can I." Dean sat down on the couch next to Castiel. He combed his hand through Castiel's hair, not pulling away when he felt it was drenched with sweat.

Castiel hummed contently. Gabriel clapped his hands together. "Well, seeing as you two have stuff figured out, I'm heading off to work." He paused in the doorway. "No sex in the public areas of the house."

"I don't think I'm in any condition to do that," Castiel hissed. Dean was blushing.

Gabriel walked out of the house, not holding back on his loud laughter.

It was silent, an awkward silence, between Dean and Castiel for a moment. "Okay," Dean said. "What the hell happened to you? You were perfectly fine last night."

"No idea," Castiel said. "It sucks." He felt something slide down his upper lip.

"Cas, your nose is bleeding," Dean said. "I'll get you some tissues." He stood up and walked around the house, looking for tissues. Castiel could feel the blood dripping down onto his lips. He didn't want to stain the couch more than it already was, so he licked it away.

"All I could find was toilet paper." Dean held up a roll of toilet paper proudly. "Here, this'll at least stop the bleeding."

Castiel took a few squares and held it up to his face. "This sucks."

"I don't doubt that," Dean mumbled. He looked at the clock. Gabriel said he'd be off work around five and it was eight-thirty right now. He had all this time to spend with Castiel and they didn't even get to leave the house..

"What do you have for television?"

Castiel shrugged. "Nothing special." He took away the paper for a second before he instantly had to put it back on. He scowled. Castiel hated bloody noses.

Grace hopped up on the armrest next to Castiel. Castiel saw Dean smile softly out of the corner of his eye. "I didn't know you had a cat," He said.

"We didn't really talk much about animals last night," Castiel replied, scratching Grace lightly behind the ear. He turned to look at Dean. "Do you have any pets?"

Dean shook his head. "My landlord doesn't allow pets."

Castiel felt the bleeding in his nose begin to cease and he pulled away the toilet paper. His hands were sticky with blood, but he was just happy the bleeding had stopped.

Dean stood up and went into the kitchen, bringing out the trash bin. "You might want this," He said. He set it down next to Castiel.

Castiel threw his used tissue substitute in and sat up. "So, what should we do?"

Dean thought for a moment. "Let's play twenty questions," He said. "Do you want to go first, or me?"

"You can go first."

"What do you most look forward to when you're old?" Dean sat forward and rested his elbows on his knees.

Castiel quirked his head at the question. "I guess that would have to be that by that time, I should have everything worked out. I might not have to worry about debt as much because Gabriel and I'll hopefully have everything payed off. I'll hopefully be happily married. And have another cat, of course. Gabriel will hopefully not live far away. Michael might come home." Castiel caught himself rambling. "I guess just the little things like that," He concluded. "Okay, now it's my turn: What was the best thing about how your parents raised you?"

"Okay, I'm only giving my mom credit for this, by the way." Dean made sure he clarified this. John Winchester wasn't the kindest of souls. He wasn't a bad person, but he didn't deserve credit for what he was about to say. "My mom taught me to not judge a book by its cover. She always said that even the most ugly book covers could have an amazing story behind it. My turn: What's something you tried really hard to like but just couldn't?"

"High school," Castiel replied immediately. "My parents always talked about how much fun high school was for them. I saw it how it was: bullies, homework, bitchy teachers; I could go on forever. Almost everyone during those four years put up a wall around themselves to try to make sure they didn't get hurt, but then there were people who would try and break it down to get to the middle. High school wasn't fun for me. I had no friends, except for Gabriel of course, but he was part of the 'popular group' and rarely hung around with me. I was the person who would always try and get their homework done as early as possible, which was pointless since the teachers just give you more everyday anyway. And then there were the kids." He paused. "Nobody cares about the person behind the camera. They just care about the people in the picture."

Dean nodded. "I hated high school too, but I was one of the 'jocks' I guess you could call them. I played basketball, but was often kicked off the team because of how low my grades were. I never understood any of that shit they said we'd need."

"Especially geometry."

"Agreed. Geometry can go burn in hell."

Castiel laughed softly.

The two of them continued asking questions to each other until they heard Gabriel come in the door.

"Hey guys," He said, but with much less spunk than that morning.

"What happened?" Castiel asked. He stood up off the couch to comfort his brother, mostly because his legs were sick of sitting in a cramped position.

"Nothing. Just tired, that's all." Gabriel attempted to smile, but it looked forced.

Castiel pulled him into a hug and Gabriel returned it softly. "Feeling better I'm assuming." Gabriel said.

"Getting there," Castiel replied, shrugging slightly. "Still not up to speed, but I'll get there eventually."

Gabriel pulled away. "So, calling Dean helped, huh?" He smirked.

Castiel glanced over Gabriel's shoulder and met Dean's gaze. "It was one of your more well-thought-out plans."

"Actually, hate to break it to you, but I didn't even think about it," Gabriel smirked. "But, I'm glad I didn't. I might've changed my mind if I thought it through."

Dean chuckled in the background and stood up. "Well, I'd better be getting back." He leaned in to give Castiel a kiss, but pulled back at the last minute. "Almost forgot. You're sick," He smiled at Castiel's narrowed eyes. "I'll make it up. I promise." He gave Castiel a quick side hug and walked out the door.

"Damn, Cassie," Gabriel chirped. "You're really smitten."

"I am not," Castiel argued. "Absolutely not true."

"Yes you are. You _so_ are," Gabriel grinned widely, completely opposing his earlier mood. "I'll have to be expecting some nieces or nephews pretty soon with the way things are going."

Castiel playfully punched Gabriel's shoulder, even though it was harder than he intended. "Ow!" Gabriel exclaimed, rubbing his shoulder. "Damn, you hit hard when you get insulted."

"That should teach you to stop being an ass," Castiel grumbled before sitting back down on the couch.

"I'm not so sure I can do that, Cassie," Gabriel sat down in the chair Dean had been sitting in earlier. "I was born that way."

"Unfortunately, I know," Castiel said. "But that's what makes this boring house interesting."


	4. Chapter 4

The next day when Castiel woke up, he felt worse than he did the day before. He sat up and his head throbbed.

"Feeling better?" Gabriel asked when he came into the room. He glanced at Castiel and his grin faded. "I'll take that pained expression as a no."

"How'd you guess?" Castiel groaned and laid back down.

"Want me to call Dean back over?" Gabriel slipped on his jacket.

Castiel wanted to say no; he didn't want to keep Dean from work, especially when his business was going under. Of course, his selfish side wanted to spend more time with Dean.

He stuck to his better side and said, "No. He'll be at work today. I don't want to bother him."

Gabriel scoffed. "Do you remember what I made you promise me when you and Dean first started seeing each other?" Castiel nodded. "You promised me that this guy wouldn't just pack up and leave when something bad happened."

"He has a job, Gabriel," Castiel retorted. "I can't keep him from work just because I have a head cold."

"I think it's more than a head cold, Cassie," Gabriel sat down next to him. He sighed. "Okay, fine. I won't call Dean over, but call me if you have any problems."

"I thought you didn't work today."

"I had to pick up overtime," Gabriel explained. "The water bill this month was a little high."

"Damn, I'm sorry," Castiel said. "As soon as I'm better, I'll be scouring the papers for a job."

"No, Cassie-"

"Yes," Castiel interrupted. "I can't have you working yourself to death and me just staying at home being a bum."

"I'm off to work," Gabriel said, ending the conversation. "Remember, call me if you have any issues."

"I will," Castiel said.

* * *

They each thought that over time, Castiel would get better. That didn't happen. In fact, he seemed to get worse. His bloody noses became more frequent, he bruised whenever he merely bumped into walls, he complains that his clothes feel loose and that it feels like his bones are splintering into his flesh.

"You should see a doctor," Gabriel said on the following Saturday. "This has gone on far too long for this to be a common cold."

Castiel groaned and ran a hand down his face. "I'm fine!" He scowled. "I'm just-"

"I already scheduled an appointment for you. It's this afternoon at two-forty-five. I'm getting off work early so I can make sure you go. I know you hate hospitals."

"That's an understatement," Castiel mumbled.

"Cassie, you're going to the doctor, and that's that." Gabriel headed to the door. "I'll be back at two-fifteen to pick you up."

"Why do you need to be back so early?"

Gabriel shot him a look that said 'I think you know' and went to work.

Nothing exciting happened that morning. He watched some reruns of _Friends_ and made himself some soup. When he got bored of watching TV, he watched out the window. He counted seventeen people that walked by his house. He hoped no one could see him inside, looking out the window like a creep.

He couldn't care less about the people that walked by until he saw a familiar blond stop by and stare at the roses. Castiel stared unashamedly at him, aware he was making pathetic goo-goo eyes. Dean met his gaze with a small smile and picked a rose from the bush. Castiel stood up, ignoring the protest his head gave, and went outside.

"Hey, Cas," Dean said before his eyebrows creased with worry. "Are you still sick?"

Castiel nodded. "Gabriel's taking me to the doctor later." He glanced at the rose in Dean's hand. "Are you going to visit your mother?"

"Yeah, do you want to come with?"

"I would love to."

They set off towards the church they were at the past weekend. Dean's arm was slung across Castiel's shoulders, but only as a comfort not as a support for Dean. Castiel felt better about this visit, since he knew Dean better and wasn't chastising him for taking a rose. He didn't know what Dean and him were yet; if they were boyfriends or if this was just a 'to keep me busy' relationship. Castiel preferred the first option.

Dean stopped them in front of Mary's headstone and set down the dark red rose. He sat down in front of it, like he and Castiel did the last time and gently pulled Castiel down next to him. Castiel leaned his head against Dean's shoulder and Dean cupped Castiel's hand, squeezing it softly.

It both seemed like they were there forever and no time was passing at all. They weren't talking; they were just sitting there in each other's company. Even though they had only been with each other for a short while, Castiel loved spending time with Dean. He didn't feel like he was mooching off when Dean took him to the burger place. Dean was in a rough money situation too. He didn't feel like Dean felt sorry for his money issue because he was going through the same thing.

"Can I ask you something?" Dean asked, turning his body to face Castiel. "Is there something here? Between us?"

Castiel smiled gently. "That depends. Do you want there to be something?"

"Of course I do." Dean brought Castiel's hand up to his lips and kissed his knuckles. "Even though we met by accident when I was stealing one of your roses, it has to be one of the most-" He paused. "-incredible ways I've ever met someone. And, to make that even better, I just happened to meet one of the most incredible people."

"You're just saying that."

Dean shook his head, his eyes shining. "I mean it. When we played twenty questions that day, it made me see that I really like you. You're amazing, Cas."

Castiel felt his heart lift at that confession. "You're pretty damn amazing too."

"Didn't need you to tell me that," Dean smirked. He leaned towards Castiel.

"Don't." Castiel held his hand to Dean's chest and stopped him. "You'll get sick."

Dean smiled softly and kissed Castiel anyway. Castiel closed his eyes and leaned into Dean arms. Dean cupped Castiel's cheek and massaged his thumb over Castiel's cheekbones. "Worth it," He said when he pulled away.

"Uh huh, yeah. I'm sure you'll be saying that tomorrow when you're hacking your guts out," Castiel's eyes shined mischievously. He looked at his watch. "We should probably get going. Gabriel said he'd be back at two-fifteen to take me to the doctor. He's worried it might be something worse than a lengthy cold or something."

"He's probably right," Dean said.

"Don't give him the satisfaction of telling him that." Castiel stood up, with minimal help from Dean.

* * *

Castiel hated hospitals. All they did was give bad news or prolong someone's life. Sure, maybe some people saw hospitals as places where miracle workers do their work, but he saw them for what they were. Hellholes.

"Castiel Novak?" The receptionist called.

Castiel stood up and followed her to a room.

"The doctor will be with you shortly," She said. Castiel forced a smile at her and she left. He looked around the small room. By the looks of it, the doctor he was seeing was a young, red haired woman with two kids. She had pictures of her and her husband, her kids, and her German shepherd. Her background was a professionally taken family photo.

"Hello. You must be Castiel," The doctor walked in and closed the door behind her. "My name is Dr. Milton. Now," She sat down in the chair by her computer. "let's get down to business: what symptoms have you been experiencing and how long have you been experiencing them?"

"I've been bruising easily, having frequent bloody noses, night sweats, and I'm tired all the time," Castiel explained. "I've been experiencing it for about five days."

Dr. Milton typed it into her computer. She had a slightly worried expression on her face, but Castiel wouldn't press. "Did a family member of yours suffer from any type of fatal illness?"

"My mom died from leukemia."

Dr. Milton nodded. "I'm going to need to take some blood tests."

 _Awesome._ Castiel thought to himself.

He laid down on the table and let Dr. Milton poke him until a she could prick a vein. She took four samples and then sent Castiel back. She said it could be a day or two before the tests came back and told him to leave his phone number on her desk so she would remember to call him back.

* * *

Castiel was watching TV the next day when he got the call from Dr. Milton. "Castiel?" She asked.

"Yes?"

"Could you come down to the office later today? Around four? Would that work for you?"

"I could come down now if you're not busy," Castiel said, worry bubbling up in his gut.

"Okay. I don't have any patients right now. My next one's coming at three."

"I'll see you in about-" Castiel glanced at the clock. "-fifteen minutes."

Dr. Milton hung up and Castiel hurriedly slipped on his coat and ran out the door. Gabriel had the car, so he'd be walking to the hospital. He had to admit, even if he was going to get his death date, it was nice getting out of the house by himself.

He heard the hum of an engine pull up behind him and he looked back. The car was a sleek, black impala. It was well taken care of, even Castiel, who knew nothing about cars, knew that.

He was surprised to see Dean step out of the driver's seat. "What are you doing out of the house?" Dean asked.

"I have to meet my doctor. She told me to come into the office."

"You're walking to the hospital? That's halfway across town," Dean said.

"Gabriel brought the car to work."

"You can ride with me." Dean gestured to the beautiful impala.

Castiel nodded and Dean stepped back into the driver's seat. The low hum of the engine almost put Castiel to sleep. His bloody noses were getting less frequent and he was feeling less shitty in the mornings, but he was still tired all the time.

"We're here," Dean shook Castiel's shoulder gently.

Castiel didn't realize he fell asleep. "Thanks," He said. "You can leave if you want."

Dean scoffed and turned the car off. "No way. I'm not leaving your sickly ass to walk home alone," Dean said. "I'll wait here for you."

"Okay." Castiel stepped out of the car and walked up to the doors of the hospital.

He walked into Dr. Milton's office. She was sitting in her chair, typing on her computer. When she heard Castiel enter, she turned to him, a worried expression still on her face. "Please, sit down. I'll be with you in a minute."

Castiel only nodded and sat down on the table she took blood tests on the day before. Dr. Milton finished whatever she was typing and turned to face him. "Castiel," She said softly. "This isn't going to be easy to hear."

Castiel's heart rate picked up. "Just tell me," He said.

Dr. Milton's mouth formed a flat line. "We looked at your blood samples and we found that you have a high white blood cell count."

"What does that mean?" Castiel asked. He had an idea, but he wanted to hear it from Dr. Milton first.

Dr. Milton swallowed. She obviously wasn't used to delivering bad news. "You have leukemia."

Castiel felt his mouth go dry and tears form around his eyes. Everything went silent around him. He didn't hear Dr. Milton talk to him about chemotherapy or something like that.

There was no way he would be able to pay for this. They could barely afford to keep their heads afloat as it was and chemotherapy wasn't cheap. How was he going to break this to Gabriel? Or Dean?

Leukemia. It was such a hard word to hear when you knew it was directed towards you. Dr. Milton was still going on and on about treatments for it, but Castiel couldn't hear her. He was lost in his mind.

"Castiel?"

He looked up at his doctor. Her eyes were wide and her gaze unwavering.

"I'm so sorry."

Hearing those three words, it made him break down. He sobbed into his hands and he felt Dr. Milton sit next to him and rub his shoulders.

"Do you have anyone you can go to and talk about this?" She asked softly.

Castiel nodded faintly. His sobs were now reduced to choked hiccups. "I do," He croaked.

"Good." Dr. Milton stood back up and held open the door for him. "I have another patient coming in soon." Castiel nodded and wiped his eyes. On his way out, Dr. Milton clasped his shoulder. "I'm sorry I couldn't give you better news."

Castiel looked at her and shook his head. "It's not your fault."

He found Dean's car in the same spot it was when he dropped Castiel off. He stepped into the passenger side. Dean greeted him with a smile, but it faded when he saw how red Castiel's eyes were. "What's wrong?" He asked.

Castiel looked at him and felt his eyes well up with tears again. "They got the tests back," Castiel choked out.

"And?" Dean's face was etched with worry. "What'd they say?"

Castiel inhaled deeply and let out a short sob. "They said I have leukemia."

Castiel couldn't hold back the sobs any longer. He let out a loud cry and buried his face in his hands. He heard Dean step out of the car and his sobs worsened. Then the passenger side door opened and Dean sat down next to him. "It's okay, Cas," He could hear Dean's voice waver slightly. "I'm here for you." Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel's shaking body and Castiel leaned into him.

They sat there for a little while before Dean said he should get Castiel home. Castiel looked out the window, watching the scenery pass by him. He heard Dean call Gabriel on the way back, but it didn't phase him.

They got back to the Novak residence shorty after. Gabriel was already home.

Gabriel was sitting in his chair, elbows propped on his knees and hands folded together. His eyes were wide and worried. When Dean and Castiel walked through the door, he shot up out of his chair. "What happened?" He looked at Castiel.

Castiel swallowed and stifled a sob. "They got the tests back today." Gabriel nodded and encouraged him to continue. "The-they said I have-" He pursed his lips to keep himself from crying. "They said I have leukemia."

It didn't take a second before Gabriel's arms were wrapped around Castiel, clutching him like a lifeline. Tears formed in his eyes, but he didn't let himself cry in front of Castiel. "We'll get through this," He said, determined. "We will get you through this."

Castiel's jaw trembled as he whimpered.

Dean came around him and hugged him from behind. "We'll both help you through this," Dean murmured. "I promise."

* * *

 **I know, I know. Now you all hate me.**

 **First of all, I'm sorry if I didn't get the symptoms of leukemia right. I don't really know too much about the disease and am basing myself off of lots of research. I also apologize for the following chapters if there's something wrong.**

 **Anyway, please don't stop reading and keep with this! I'd love to hear some more feedback from you guys.**


	5. Chapter 5

Gabriel was working even more than he had before, which Castiel didn't even know you could do. He was working seven days a week. Twelve hour shifts. When he was home, he was either sleeping, keeping Castiel company, or running him to the hospital. Gabriel insisted for Castiel to do chemo. He never had any time to himself and Dean felt bad for him.

Dean went to visit Gabriel at the coffee house one day. Castiel was at home with Grace. Dean was going to stop by there later, but he needed to talk to Gabriel first.

The shop bell rang and Gabriel looked up from the counter. He looked like shit. He had bags under his eyes and his posture was droopy. His eyes were glazed over and he just seemed like he was in an 'I don't care' mood. Nevertheless, he flashed Dean a small smile and started working on his usual; black coffee with two spoonfuls of sugar and a splash of cream.

"Hey Gabe," Dean said as he sat on the bar stool up by the counter. There weren't many customers there. A teenage couple was outside, both of them laughing and ignoring the world around them. An elderly woman sat by the window, reading a book. There was a man in a suit in the back, going over files and other paperwork.

"Hey, Dean-o," Gabriel set the coffee down in front of him. His voice was straining to be cheery; Dean could tell. "What're you doing here?"

"I need to ask you something," Dean said.

"Shoot," Gabriel attempted to stifle a yawn, but failed.

"How're you holding up? With everything?"

"You mean my little brother having leukemia and me not being able to do anything about it? Oh, just fucking peachy," Gabriel spat, his features hardening.

The old lady in the corner glanced up from her book for a second, but then looked back down.

"Sorry," Gabriel mumbled. "I'm just tired."

"I can tell," Dean smiled sadly.

It was silent between the two men for a moment. Gabriel looked seconds away from tipping over he looked so tired.

"Okay, now I need to say something," Gabriel used a serious tone Dean was sadly starting to get used to. "Thank you for not booking when you found out about Cassie. You have no idea how much that means to me."

"Cas is something special. I don't want to give that up because of an illness," Dean said, swirling his coffee in his mug. "I want to help him get better."

Gabriel grinned widely and made his way around the counter to embrace Dean in a crushing hug. "Thanks Dean."

Someone cleared their throat behind Dean. They both turned around and were met with the old lady reading a book in the corner. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help but overhear. I heard about about your... brother?" Gabriel nodded and the old lady dug around in her purse. She pulled out two hundred dollar bills and handed them to Gabriel. "I know it's not much, especially when it comes to chemotherapy, but it'll help."

"Oh, no I can't take-" Gabriel held up his hands, but the old lady persisted.

"No, I insist." She forcefully grabbed Gabriel's hand and shoved the dollar bills into his hand. "You look like you're about to fall asleep any second."

"Thanks," Gabriel mumbled.

"My son had cancer," the old lady mentioned. "He died from it, and I'll admit, it was hard to get through. But now I want to help people like you so you don'y have to go through the same thing I had to."

Dean grinned at her. "Thank you. It means a lot."

"No problem." The old lady smiled back. "I hope he gets better."

"Us too."

* * *

Castiel was sick of watching TV all hours of the day. He could tell Grace was getting sick of him being there too.

The chemotherapy he was taking at the hospital was making him feel sicker and sicker each day. Dr. Milton said it was because sometimes the drugs can attack not only the cancerous cells, but normal cells as well. She said his immune system might be failing, but the chemo was working. It was a good sign, meaning Gabriel might not have to work as often anymore and he might be able to continue his relationship with Dean.

The were only two months into their relationship, but he could tell already that he loved Dean. For anyone else, it might have been too early, but Dean had stuck around when he was diagnosed with leukemia and even helped out. Even when he noticed Castiel becoming bald he stuck around and called him beautiful. Castiel felt it was justified.

Speaking of whom, he had been used to not knocking anymore since he didn't want to strain Castiel with getting the door. He walked inside just after he finished the last episode of Friends. "Hey Cas," He said.

"Hello, Dean." Castiel flashed him the best smile he could manage.

Dean returned it and kissed Castiel lightly. He'd always been gentle with Castiel.

Only after Dean sat down did Castiel notice Gabriel was home. "What're you doing back home so early?" Castiel asked him. "I don't have an appointment until next Wednesday."

"I know," Gabriel sat down heavily in the chair and rubbed his eyes. "My boss told me to go home. He said I look like shit."

"Well, he's not wrong."

Gabriel shot him a playful glare and yawned. "Okay, I need to get some sleep. You two-" He pointed between Dean and Castiel. "Get out of the house. You two need to do something."

He went upstairs and closed his bedroom door.

Dean and Castiel were silent for a moment before Dean stood up and clapped his hands. "Well, you heard the man. Let's get moving."

"What's the plan?" Castiel asked.

Dean shrugged. "I dunno. Let's just drive around for a bit until we find something to do."

Castiel nodded and stood up, grabbing his hoodie and slipping it on.

"You know, you have nothing to be embarrassed about," Dean said, gently grabbing his hand.

"I don't look good bald," Castiel said. "My hair is just on my head in patches."

"You look perfect to me."

Castiel couldn't help but smile softly and tuck his head in the crook of Dean's neck. "Thanks Dean."

Dean hopped into his car, which was now usually parked at his and Gabriel's house, and started the engine. "Where to?"

Castiel shrugged. "Just drive around with the windows open. I need some fresh air."

"Sounds good."

He pulled out of the driveway and out onto the road. The wind felt so nice blowing in Castiel's face. He'd been stuck inside for so long, it felt like a miracle to be outside and not going to the hospital. With Dean by his side, it made everything even better.

He stole a glance at this amazing man who was his boyfriend and grinned. He knew he loved Dean. Two months, but two months that not even a nearly incurable disease could falter. Maybe he was falling too fast, but he didn't care. Dean is what was making his disease bearable.

Dean suddenly turned off onto a gravel road and had to roll up the windows. "Where are we going?" Castiel asked.

Dean looked over at him, a playful grin on his face. "Gabriel said we need to get out of the house. That's what we're gonna do." He slowed to a stop near what looked like a hiking trail.

"Hiking?" Castiel asked.

"Yeah," Dean said as he shut the car off. "A little nature, a little fresh air, a little less city I think will do us some good." He grabbed a blanket and a basket from the back.

"You came prepared?"

"Yup. I've got food and drinks and a place to sit."

They started up the trail. It was mostly flat and there were few bugs trying to get to them. Dean was patient with Castiel, since he had to stop fairly often because his limbs hurt. Dean sometimes asked if he wanted to go back, but Castiel always refused. Castiel kept his hood up nearly the entire time, not wanting people to see his rapid hair loss (even though they didn't come across a single person on the trail).

Castiel kept hold of Dean's hand the entire way through.

About an hour and a half later, they arrived at the end of the trail. It was a fantastic view, overlooking the river and the town across. Dean laid out the blanket and he basket on the ground and sat down, patting the spot beside him for Castiel.

For food, Dean packed sandwiches, fruit, and a few other snacks. He made sure to not grab anything super unhealthy, since Dr. Milton said he should try and help his body out the best he could.

Castiel laid across Dean's lap, his hood still up. Dean was leaning back, putting his weight on his palms and watching the city across the river.

Castiel's mind began to wander the longer it stayed silent. What was Dean doing with him? He could probably have a much easier and active relationship with someone else, so why was he with Castiel?

He looked at Dean until he couldn't bear his depressing thoughts and looked away.

"What's wrong, Cas?" Dean asked softly.

Castiel hesitated. "Why are you with me?" He hated how his voice broke. It made him sound weak.

Dean seemed more disturbed by the question. "What do you mean?" He asked, leaning off his palms and wiping stray tears from Castiel's cheeks.

"I mean wouldn't it be easier to be with someone else?" Castiel choked out. "Someone who doesn't have a life-threatening disease? Someone who you don't need to babysit?"

Dean frowned and Castiel sat up, pointedly looking away from Dean. "Cas," Dean said. Castiel turned towards him, his eyes stinging with tears. Dean scooted closer so their bodies were touching. "I'm with you because I care about you. I'm with you because leukemia doesn't define who you are. It's just something you have. I'm with you because I think you're fucking awesome." Castiel chuckled a little and looked back to the town across the river. Dean touched his cheek lightly and guided his face back to look at him. "But, most of all, I'm with you because-" Dean swallowed and flashed Castiel a soft smile. "because, dammit Cas, I'm in love with you."

Castiel's eyes widened slightly and a small smile spread across his face.

"I know it's still early, but these two months with you made me realize what love is." Dean's eyes shined. "And I'm sorry if I scared you off, but-"

"No, Dean," Castiel's grin grew. "I love you too."

Dean leaned in and kissed Castiel passionately on the mouth. Castiel smiled into the kiss, no longer doubting why Dean was with him, but now thankful that he was.

Dean's hand ghosted over his cheek and wrapped around the back of his neck and Castiel's hood fell down. Dean pulled away slightly, but Castiel made no move to put it back up. Dean's eyes shined and he gave Castiel a toothy grin. "Still beautiful," He said as he leaned back in for another kiss.

* * *

 **Sorry this chapter took so long. I couldn't think about what to do during it until today, so here we are.**

 **The next few chapters will be about Dean, Gabriel, and Castiel's journey through the struggles of Castiel's disease. It will be quite a time jump through the chapters, so don't be surprised if it moves pretty fast.**

 **This story will probably be between 7-10 chapters. There will hopefully be lots of fluff in the oncoming chapters... (I'm a sucker for fluffy chapters)**


	6. Chapter 6

After that moment on the hiking trail, Dean never left before telling Castiel he loved him. Dean was over at his house a lot. After he got off work, he went straight to Castiel and Gabriel's house to check on them. It wasn't until late that he would leave. Dean sometimes took time off work to take Castiel to his appointments so Gabriel could have some time to himself and even started helping them pay the bills.

Gabriel loved it when Dean was over. He loved seeing his little brother with someone who could make him so happy, especially when depression could've taken that place in Castiel's heart.

Dean didn't only spend time with Castiel. He came in every morning to the coffee shop to check on Gabriel and see how he was doing.

Gabriel was doing better. His boss insisted on a raise after the old woman complained to him that he wasn't paying him enough (the old woman came by Winchester Motors and told Dean not to tell Gabriel that it was her). He also made Gabriel take Saturdays off after he almost collapsed into the coffee maker.

It was looking up for the trio. Dr. Milton said she thinks the chemo is working, slowly killing off more cancerous cells. Castiel was still sick, but, seeming as though it wouldn't last too much longer, he thought he could live with that.

Dean usually took Castiel out on dates once or twice a week. It was never anything fancy. Sometimes it was something simple like hiking or driving around. Other times it was just going out for Dean's lunch break to some cheap diner. No matter what, it was always amazing to Castiel.

Today, however, was different.

The beginning of fall was Castiel's favorite time of year (besides Christmas, of course). He loved seeing the monotonous green leaves turn to vibrant oranges, yellows and reds. Driving through downtown, with all the trees planted for decoration, made everything look gorgeous.

Dean was driving with Castiel for another date. Castiel always wore his gray hoodie whenever he went outside. He didn't like how he looked bald.

"So," Castiel said, turning to Dean. "What's the plan for today?"

"It's a surprise," Dean said casually.

Castiel huffed as he turned back to the window.

"I'm going to assume fall is your favorite season?" Dean asked.

Castiel nodded. "I just love all the colors. I know that makes me sound like some teenage girl from a rom-com, but-" Castiel shrugged. "-I love it."

Dean smirked. "I actually think spring is my favorite season. Summer's way too hot. Winter's too cold. And fall is just a winter greeting."

Castiel chuckled softly.

A few minutes later, Dean pulled into a Walmart parking lot. "Dean, what are you doing? I thought we were on a date."

Dean pulled into a parking spot near the back and parked the car. "We are," He said as he turned off the engine.

Castiel was confused as they stepped out of the car and headed to the entrance. He didn't know what Dean had planned, but he was starting to get both suspicious and excited. It was a strange combination of emotions.

Once they were inside, Dean stopped him as he was about to grab a cart. "Okay, so I know this is kind of random, but I have a game." Castiel tilted his head, both out of interest and confusion. "The challenge is to buy each other an interesting outfit that we each have to wear the rest of the day. I have a budget of fifty dollars and a time limit of forty-five minutes. We'll meet at the changing rooms in the back." He glanced at his watch and set a timer. "Time starts...NOW!"

Dean took off running for the clothes, almost running into a little girl with a doll. Castiel actually thought his outfit through before he took off towards kitchen supplies.

* * *

Exactly forty-five minutes later, Castiel found Dean waiting with his outfit back by the dressing rooms. From what Castiel saw, he actually had a nice outfit planned. He saw a pair of blue jeans, a light blue t-shirt, and what looked like a dark green head scarf.

He looked down at the outfit he was carrying and chuckled to himself. He had a cheap pot for a hat, a bright red thong, a blue t-shirt that said 'I wuv hugs,' and an ugly floral skirt. He laughed harder.

Dean turned his way with a grin, but it faded almost instantly when he saw what Castiel was carrying. "Aww, hell no!" He shouted. "You can't just-"

"You only said it had to be fifty dollars and that I had to be back here on forty-five minutes," Castiel giggled. "So, I let my imagination run wild."

Dean grabbed the bright red thong off the top of the stack. "Really Cas? A fucking thong?"

"Yes, really. Now go try this on!" Castiel shoved the stack of clothing into Dean's arms. "I want to see what this looks like on you!"

Dean chuckled lightly. "You 're such an asshole."

"You're the one who decided to not specify rules." Castiel shrugged.

Dean came out of the changing room fifteen minutes later. He obviously debated coming out to show his boyfriend what he looked like in the outfit he picked. WHen Castiel saw him, he didn't hold back his laughter.

Dean's face was as red as the thong he was wearing. The skirt reached just above his ankles (Castiel didn't want the thong to show when they were outside). The blue shirt matched terribly and the pot on his head was just the best finishing touch.

Castiel was rolling on the ground, tears in his eyes and arms around his stomach, laughing. "Okay, fucker. Now it's your turn," Dean said, but without any bite.

Castiel stood up, still laughing, and took his clothes to the changing room.

The clothes that Dean chose for him fit amazingly on him. The jeans hugged him in all his best places and the shirt was loose, but not too big. The headscarf didn't really match the rest of the outfit, but it was beautiful. The headscarf was silk and already pre-tied. It felt smooth on his head.

Castiel sauntered out, knowing he looked good in the outfit Dean chose for him. Dean changed out of the outfit for now, since they still had to buy it, but was staring daggers at it. When he caught a glimpse of Castiel, bit eyes widened slightly and he stood up, meeting Castiel just outside the changing room.

"Wow," He said breathlessly. "You look gorgeous."

Castiel blushed slightly. "Thank you, Dean."

Dean leaned in and wrapped his hand around the base of Castiel's neck and kissed him gently. Castiel ran his hands up and down Dean's back and Dean brought his other hand up to cup Castiel's cheek.

Dean pulled away, but kept his hands on Castiel's face. "I figured that, you know, since you don't like the way you look bald, I would get you a headscarf so you don't look like such a creep."

"There are hoods on hoodies for a reason, Dean," Castiel said.

"I know, but-" He gestured to Castiel's headscarf. "-you look so much better in this. It hides your face less."

Castiel grinned and leaned back up to kiss Dean again. "Thank you. This was a pretty good date idea."

"For you maybe," Dean said. "I still have to wear that fucking skirt and thong for the rest of the day."

An old man an aisle over gave them a weird look.

"Kay then. Let's pay for this and change back into them." Castiel gave Dean a sly look.

"Ugh, fuck me," Dean mumbled.

"Maybe later," Castiel whispered in his ear.


	7. Chapter 7

Christmas time was fast approaching and Castiel couldn't be more excited. He loved Christmas and it was his favorite time of year. Dean practically lived at the Novak residence that month. Castiel didn't question it. Dean being around all the time wasn't an issue.

The impala had to be put away for the winter, since it was more of a summer car and Dean didn't want to have it wrecked. The two of them borrowed Gabriel's car most of the time, which was proving to be difficult, but they didn't mind. As long as Dean was getting Castiel to his appointments, it was okay.

* * *

Dean was at work one day, both trying to relieve stress and catch up. Ash and Benny were still no shows. It was almost noon.

It was after one when Dean heard the front door open. He scowled and turned his head to see Benny saunter in, Ash following closely behind. "Hey there boss," Benny said as he sat down on he hood of a car. "So, me an' Ash have been thinkin'," He glanced at Ash. "we need a raise."

Dean threw his wrench to the ground with a clang. "The FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?" He bellowed.

"W-we just thought that-" Ash cleared his throat, taken aback by Dean's sudden outburst. "-our landlord raised our rent and-" He trailed off when he saw Dean pinching the bridge of his nose.

Dean sighed and leaned onto the car he was working on. "Maybe-" He started quietly, his eyes narrowed at them dangerously. "-it has slipped your small minds that 1), this business is going under. 2), you two are already getting paid more than me. And, most importantly, 3), my boyfriend IS SUFFERING FROM FUCKING LEUKEMIA! What the fuck makes you two so special, huh? You two don't come in until after lunch break, so why should I take pity on you?"

The two of them were silent.

"You know what?" Dean threw his hands up in defeat. "I'm fucking done with you two." He gave them a deadly look. "You're both fired."

"Fired!" Benny exclaimed. "You can't just do that!"

"Actually, I can," Dean said. "Now, get your sorry asses out of my shop."

* * *

Castiel jumped when he heard the front door slam. He wasn't expecting Dean or Gabriel back for another hour or two. "Hello?" He asked and peaked his head out to see who it was. Dean was standing in the entryway, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Dean?" Castiel asked cautiously. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"I fired Ash and Benny today," He said, looking up at Castiel. "My business is dead."

"Wait, did you sell the garage?"

"No, not yet. Not until I won't be able to keep it,"

Castiel stepped closer to Dean and pulled him into a gentle hug. "It's okay, Dean," He said softly.

Dean returned the hug. "Thanks, Cas."

Castiel nodded against his shoulder.

The two of them stood there for a second, just sitting in each other's embrace. "I love you, Cas."

Castiel smiled softly. "I love you too, Dean." He pulled away from Dean, squeezing his arm gently before going back into the kitchen.

"So, other than firing your only two employees, how was your day?" Castiel asked.

Dean shrugged. "It was fine. Got a couple cars done before Benny and Ash showed up, meeting my quota for the day, so I left early."

"Can't you just find someone else to work for you?"

"Nobody in this damn town wants to do anything is the problem." Dean scowled and leaned back on the couch.

"I could help you out," Castiel suggested. "I don't know shit about cars, but I'm sure you could help me with that."

Dean grinned. "You're really getting bored here, aren't you?" He said.

"You have no idea."

Dean crossed his legs. "I can give you training after Christmas."

"Speaking of which," Castiel trotted into the living room and sat next to Dean. "What'd you get me?"

"That's for me to know, and you to find out on Monday." Dean grinned and kissed Castiel's cheek.

* * *

Gabriel and Dean took Christmas day off, even though they both were technically supposed to be working. Gabriel said he'd just call in sick and Dean said he was the boss anyway; he should be able to say when he takes a day off. Needless to say, Castiel was happy they both were off that day.

Dean had stayed over those past few nights, ever since he fired Ash and Benny. Gabriel suggested he should just move in, mostly as a joke, but he actually was starting to mean it. Dean was over so much, it would hardly make a difference.

Castiel opened his presents first. Gabriel got him a shit-ton candy, which Dean automatically said was a bad idea. Dean got him some more headscarves, which made him smile widely.

Gabriel insisted he didn't want presents, but opened his anyway. Castiel got him a t-shirt that said 'World's best brother From the actual world's best brother,' and Dean got him a card with two hundred dollars in it. "I can't take this," Gabriel protested.

"Yes you can. I insist."

Dean went last. Castiel got him an air freshener for his car and a card. Gabriel got him candy. "Dude, this is a _huge_ bag of jellybeans," Dean said, holding the rainbow bag above his head.

"I know," Gabriel said. "I didn't know what you wanted, so I just got candy."

"Thanks," Dean smiled at him. "Most people wouldn't get their little brother's boyfriend anything."

"Well, I'm not most people."

It was silent for a moment before Castiel stood up. "Gabe, I think we're running low on eggnog in the kitchen. Can I use the car and go grab some?"

"Sure. Key's are in the car," Gabriel said as Castiel started walking out the door.

Once Castiel was gone, Dean cleared his throat. "You know, Gabe," Gabriel turned his attention to Dean. "There was something else I would've liked to give Castiel today."

Gabriel cocked his head to the side. "And what's that?"

Dean avoided his eyes. "A ring."

Gabriel's eyes widened slightly. "A ring? As in an engagement ring?" Dean nodded and Gabriel laughed loudly. "No shit!"

"So... I'm assuming I have your blessing?" Dean asked timidly.

"Fuck yeah you do, Dean-o!" Gabriel exclaimed.

A wide grin spread across Dean's face. "Awesome."


	8. Chapter 8

It was early March and as Dean walked up to Castiel's front door, the ring in his back pocket felt heavy. It wasn't that he was regretting his decision; he definitely wanted to marry Castiel, he was just… scared. Scared Castiel would say no? Well, not exactly. He couldn't really pinpoint the feeling he was getting about this decision.

He walked inside the Novak residence and found Castiel washing dishes with Grace drinking from her milk dish. Castiel was wearing his lazy sweatpants and an old, stained t-shirt. His bald head was covered with his headscarf. Castiel glanced up from the dishes and gave Dean a big smile. "Hello Dean," He said cheerfully.

"Hey, Cas." Dean's voice croaked a little; he hoped Castiel didn't notice.

Castiel put down the dish he was washing and walked up to Dean, kissing him lightly. "How was your day?" He walked back into the kitchen to finish the dishes.

Dean's heart jumped up into his throat. He didn't know why he was so nervous. Him and Castiel loved each other; he wouldn't say no, would he?

"It… it was good. It was good." Dean started to scratch the back of his neck.

Castiel squinted his eyes in confusion and set down the plate he was washing. He stared at Dean, trying to figure out why his boyfriend was acting so weird. "Is… something wrong Dean?" He asked timidly. He walked slowly towards Dean, standing a little ways away from him, but still close enough to study his facial features.

Dean met his eyes. Castiel's eyes were full of worry. Then Dean realized- Castiel thought Dean was breaking up with him.

Dean screwed up his courage and stepped forward to take Castiel's hands in his own. He placed a chaste kiss on his lips, mostly to calm himself.

"Castiel," Dean started, squeezing Castiel's hands slightly. He swallowed, attempting to calm his rapid heartbeat. "I never thought I would be so lucky to find someone like you."

"Dean?" Castiel said warily. "What are you doing?"

"Just… let me say something," Dean said softly. He let a small smile grace his lips. "You make me feel… like I'm worth something. You make me feel happy. Even happy isn't the right way to describe how I feel when I'm with you." He paused and licked his lips, the ring burning a hole in his back pocket.

"Dean, you're scaring me," Castiel whispered, tears beginning to cloud his eyes.

Dean went on: "When I'm with you, it just seems like it's us two against the world. Nobody else matters. Only you." Dean brought a hand up to Castiel's cheek where a few tears fell free. "Meeting you was the best thing that's ever happened to me. I can't believe, compared to last year, how much of an impact you made on my life. You made me realize that giving up isn't an option. Now look where that got us: your leukemia is going away, slowly but surely, Gabriel paid off the mortgage to your house and now doesn't have to work weekends, my business is taking off again now that I have new workers. You made that possible for me." He reached into his back pocket, grabbing the ring and kneeling down onto one knee. Castiel covered his mouth with his free hand. "Which is why I ask you, Castiel Novak, love of my life, will you marry me?"

Castiel was frozen for a second, just standing there and covering his mouth, before he nodded furiously and enveloped Dean in a crushing hug.

"Oh my God, I thought you were going to break up with me!" Castiel cried, pulling away from the hug.

Dean wiped the tears from Castiel's face and cradled his cheek. "No way in hell," He whispered.

Dean stayed the night with the Novak's that night. Gabriel was ecstatic. Dean had asked his permission beforehand, but that was over a month ago. Gabriel was getting worried Dean chickened out.

"You had the ring in your pocket for over a month?" Castiel laughed, coughing a little at the end.

Dean's face blushed slightly. "I couldn't… bring myself to ask you yet."

Castiel scoffed. "You think I'd say no?"

"Well, no. But it's a fucking terrifying question to ask someone. You wouldn't know, you didn't propose."

Castiel scowled playfully at Dean then stood up and went to the kitchen. "What're you doing?" Dean asked.

"I'm getting a glass of water," Castiel hollered back.

Dean grinned to himself. Castiel was his fiance now.

Gabriel was giving him a shit-eating grin. "You stuck around," He said.

"What?" Dean asked, glancing his way.

Gabriel leaned forward, perching his elbows on his knees. "When you and Cassie first started dating, I made him promise me that he would let this turn into what happened with dad."

"And that means…?"

Gabriel leaned forward slightly. "It means that you won't just use him for sex, then when something big comes up, you ditch." Gabriel's face lifted into a grin. "Let me tell you something… you fucking passed."

Dean grinned and sat back in his chair. "I kinda figured. You wouldn't give me your blessing if I didn't."

"Speaking of which-" Gabriel also leaned against the backrest. "-why did you ask my permission?"

Dean shrugged. "I guess because you're really the only one who stuck with Cas throughout a majority of his life. You know him. Obviously your dad skipped the second your mom got leukemia, so I didn't exactly want his permission. I don't even know Michael. You seemed like the best choice."

Gabriel beamed. "Thanks. I appreciate the gesture. So, when are you-" They heard something shatter in the kitchen. Gabriel's gaze snapped towards the kitchen then back at Dean, who had an equally scared expression on his face.

They both shot up out of their chairs and bolted towards the kitchen.

Castiel was flat on his back, the shattered mug lay in pieces around him. The back of his head was bleeding and his skin was paling. Gabriel knelt down at his side and checked his pulse. "Call an ambulance!" He exclaimed. "He still has a pulse, but it's fading. Dean! Call a fucking ambulance!"

The ambulance arrived not ten minutes later. Dean and Gabriel rode with Castiel, sticking by his side the entire way. Everything was moving so fast; Dean could barely tell what was happening half the time.

The arrived at the hospital, by Gabriel's watch count, seven minutes later. The doctors pushed Gabriel and Dean out first so they could wheel the stretcher out and into the emergency room. Dean and Gabriel ran next to him until the doctors at the entrance stopped them.

"Only staff is allowed beyond this point," the doctor said calmly.

"No, please!" Gabriel pleaded. "That's my baby brother! I have to be there for him!"

"I'm sorry, but I can't let you go any further." The doctor's tone was a little sharper.

Gabriel didn't push any further. Instead, he and Dean sat down in the waiting room.

The two of them didn't speak a word to each other. They were both too worried.

Time seemed to tick by slowly, slower than any math class either of the two men had ever been in. It was more emotionally draining than failing a test you studied super hard for. Dean had never seen Gabriel so scared. He sat frozen, his elbows perched on his knees and his hands folded up under his nose.

After what seemed like hours passed, a doctor finally walked up to them. Both Dean and Gabriel shot up out of their seats and looked at the doctor with hope in their eyes, but it faded when they saw her expression.

"How is he?" Dean's voice shook.

The doctor cast him a somber expression. "Not good." Dean's heart sank. "We took some tests. After the chemo, the drugs made his immune system weak, too weak to even fight small infections."

"What are you saying?" Gabriel's normally strong, confident voice was reduced to a voice that you couldn't even tag as Gabriel's. "Are you saying he's dying?"

"There is a chance that we could prolong his life, but it would only be about six to eight months. And it would be a painful end to Castiel's life. He would have to stay at the hospital so we could monitor him."

"Or?" Dean prodded.

The doctor sighed. "Or we could put him to sleep."

"As in kill him," Gabriel said bluntly.

"Yes."

Dean and Gabriel glanced at each other. "Is he awake yet?" Dean asked.

"He's floating in and out of consciousness. We might be able to stabilize him in a few hours."

"I think we should let him decide," Gabriel choked out. "He should get to choose how he dies."

* * *

 **I'm sorry! I'm sure you all hate me now! Anyway, I already have the last two chapters written, so I'm just going to publish those right after this one. Everyone always says write the endings first.**

 **Please read, like, and review! I really want to see if this surprised anyone!**


	9. Chapter 9

The doctors allowed Dean and Gabriel to sit by Castiel's bedside until he woke up. Gabriel couldn't sit still. He was up pacing around the room while Dean sat next to Castiel's bedside, holding his hand.

Doctors came in and out of the room repeatedly. They always checked Castiel's vitals, making sure he would wake up. Dr. Milton came in a lot. She usually talked softly to Gabriel, making sure he was handling this okay. Dean didn't leave Castiel's bedside.

Gabriel sighed and stood up. "I need to get some air," he said as he walked out of the room.

Dean only nodded, his attention focused on Castiel.

Tears sprang to Dean's eyes as he thought about what the doctor had said. "Dammit, Cas." The tears leaked out of the corners of his eyes. "Why did this have to happen to you? Why did this have to happen to us?"

He wiped his eyes and squeezed Castiel's hand tighter. His shook his head and let out a watery laugh. "We were gonna get married. You were gonna have the wedding you've always dreamed. You would've walked down the aisle, looking hella gorgeous in your suit. We would've written our own vows. Gabriel would've been your best man and Sam mine. We would've danced to our first song, just us two swaying to the rhythm." The first tear slid down Dean's cheek. "After the wedding, we would go on our honeymoon. We would've gone somewhere in Europe, like you've always wanted.

"After we came back from the honeymoon, we would save up to buy our own house. We would get another cat. We could've adopted some little kid. We could've taken the kid to their first day at their new school. We would've thrown them huge surprise parties. Gabriel would've been their favorite uncle. Sammy would've tried to beat him for that title. We would've thrown our kid a huge ass graduation party. If the kid was a girl, we would've had fun creeping around with her on her first date. We would've wished them luck as we sent them off to college.

"We could've retired down in Mexico or Florida. We could've grown old together." Dean's lips trembled and he bit it, trying to make it stop. "But now we can't." His voice broke. "We won't be able to get married. We won't be able to adopt a kid. Gabriel won't get to be an uncle. We won't be able to throw them amazing parties. We won't get to embarrass the hell out of them. We won't be able to retire down in Mexico or Florida." Dean clenched his eyes closed as the tears finally fell free. "We won't be able to grow old together."

Dean's heart jumped when he felt a squeeze on his hand. He looked up and saw Castiel's glossy, blue eyes staring back at him.

"Cas," He breathed, his heart pounding in his ears. "I didn't know if you'd wake up."

A tear made its way down the side of Castiel's face and Dean wiped it away. "No, Cas. Please don't cry," Dean's heart ached to see Castiel this way. "This isn't your fault."

"No," Castiel said, turning his head to face Dean. "I know the illness isn't my fault, but it's my fault for getting involved with you. If I had never gone out and insisted on coming with you-"

"Then my year would've been so much worse," Dean interrupted. "Cas, this past year with you, even if this is the end-" Another tear trailed down Castiel's face. "-you've made my life so much better. Even though our first meeting wasn't planned, being with you has been amazing."

Castiel nodded, seemingly not able to produce words.

"And if I have to let go of you, I just want you to know-" Dean choked out a sad laugh. "-I fucking love you, Cas. Everything you've shown me this past year just proved to me how strong you are and how strong someone can be. You are the most amazing person and you have the best personality."

"Dean, stop it," Castiel said, his lip trembling. "Stop acting like you'll never see me again."

"Who knows if I will?" Dean's positive wall broke down into sobs. "Who knows if you'll survive past today?"

"We don't," Castiel said. "But I want my final memories with you to be like normal. I don't want you praising me. I want you to treat me like I wasn't going through this."

It was silent between the two men for a minute before Gabriel walked inside. When he saw Castiel awake, his eyes quickly filled with tears and he rushed to his brother's bedside. "Cas!" He exclaimed and hugged his brother, strongly but still somehow gently.

"Gabe," Castiel groaned. "You're making it hard to breathe."

"Sorry," Gabriel wiped his eyes and leaned back. "I didn't know if I'd be able to talk to you again."

Castiel nodded sadly. "I know."

A doctor came in the room a few minutes later. Seeing that Castiel was awake, he approached the cot. "Castiel," He said gently. "We don't know what happened. We're guessing that the chemo weakened your immune system so much, it couldn't defend itself. We can't identify the infection, but what we do know is that if you choose to prolong your life, it could make your final few months painful and you'd have to stay here so we could monitor you. Otherwise-"

"I understand what you're saying," Castiel said. He looked at Dean, who was watching him expectantly. Castiel sighed. "I don't want to prolong my life. If I'm not going to live long, I don't want to burden my family with all the extra costs of this."

Gabriel attempted to stifle a sob. Dean had expected this, but it would never add up to actually hearing the words coming out of his mouth.

Castiel glanced up at Dean, his eyes watering. "I'm sorry, but I can't-"

"Shh, Cas. It's okay. I understand," Dean said in as strong of a voice he could muster. "I'll be there for you. I'll be right next to you."

"So will I," Gabriel said, wiping his eyes. "We'll be there for you Cassie."

The doctors said that the earlier they did this, the better, so it was two hours later when the doctors came into the room with drugs used to put people out of their misery. Castiel's grip tightened on Dean's hand, but he didn't break down.

The doctors set everything up and pricked a needle into Castiel's arm. "Whenever you're ready," Dr. Milton said.

Castiel nodded and she started filling the IV with the drugs.

"You know, I realized something," Castiel said shakily. "I've never heard you sing."

"That's probably a good thing," Dean said softly. "I don't have very powerful vocal chords."

"Would you mind? Singing to me?"

"Sure." It took all of Dean's self control to keep the tears at bay. "What would you like me to sing?"

"I don't care." Castiel was starting to get drowsy. "Anything."

Dean nodded and cleared his throat. " _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are gray. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away_."

"Could you sing it again?" Castiel's eyelids were starting to droop.

"Of course." He sniffed and wiped his eyes. " _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are gray. You'll never know, dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away._ "

"Again?" Castiel's voice was getting faint.

 _"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know_ -"

Flat line, a small noise you couldn't hear over Dean's sobs.


	10. Chapter 10

_Castiel Novak- May 14, 1996-March 20, 2018_

Dean sat in front of the headstone, a rose in hand. He requested that Castiel would be buried next to his mom, since he was as much of his family as she was.

It was April now and the roses in front of Castiel's house were starting to bloom. Dean knew he should carry on his tradition of stealing a rose every Saturday. Gabriel was usually already at work before he got there. The poor guy had been working himself to death since Castiel died.

Dean was sitting in front of Castiel's and Mary's headstone, a somber look cast across his face. His forehead was creased in frustration before he shot up, angry tears clouding his vision, and screamed to the sky, "Thanks a lot, God! No, real good job this time!" He lowered his arms, but still looked to the sky. "You took the love of my life! The only person I've ever found who makes me happy and you just take him away.

"Not only that, you force his brother to be on his own through all this. Michael is still off in Afghanistan and probably doesn't know about Cas! So you know what? FUCK YOU, GOD! FUCK! YOU!"

Dean collapsed back onto the ground, covering his head with his hands and sobbing. "Dammit." Dean wiped his eyes. "Why did this have to happen to you, Cas? You were the sweetest person I could ever even hope to love. You were supposed to have a happy ending, not this. Not this cancer shit."

The tears were falling slowly down his face now, the anger draining from his system. "I loved you, Cas. I've never cared about anyone else as much as I cared for you. I just-" He let out a sob. "I don't know how I'm gonna continue."

He sat back down on the grass, the dew seeping back into his jeans.

His phone started to ring a couple minutes later. It was Gabriel. Dean got excited since he hadn't heard from Gabriel in a while. "Gabe?" He asked. "How're you doing, man?"

"Can you come to the house quick?" Gabriel asked. "I found something that you might want to see."

"Will do." Dean hung up the phone and didn't hesitate before rushing to his car.

Gabriel was waiting outside on the porch with a laptop in his hands. Dean didn't quite know what to expect from this.

"What's that?" Dean asked after he parked the car.

"It was Cassie's old laptop from back in school." Gabriel smiled sadly. "Mom gave him this idea to make audio diaries whenever something cool happened. He was always consistent with it. Every time something even remotely interesting happened, he would talk to his computer. I thought it was cute."

"Do you want me to watch them with you?" Dean asked. "Is that why you called me over here?"

"Actually, I called you over because I had no idea that he still did them, even after mom died." Gabriel looked up at Dean. "I watched a majority of them already, but some are on his phone and I don't know the password."

"I do," Dean said. "It's a pattern, right?" Gabriel nodded. "Then it's in the shape of a 'G.'"

Gabriel quickly went back inside to grab Castiel's phone and unlocked it. Dean's heart ached when he saw the background. It was of him and Castiel on one of their dates. Castiel had his arm snaked around Dean's shoulders and Dean planted a kiss on his cheek. Castiel was wearing his dark green headscarf.

Gabriel went into the video app, which Dean was surprised to see so many videos, the names were the dates they were recorded.

Gabriel clicked on one titled 'April 15, 2017.'

* * *

 _Castiel sat down in a chair in front of the phone. "Hey, whoever might watch this. I'm still not quite so sure who I'm supposed to be talking to." He laughed quietly. "Anyway, as I'm pretty sure I've said before, there's this really hot guy who always comes by and picks the roses I grow every Saturday. Anyway, Gabriel convinced me to go talk to him today so I wouldn't spend another week pining over him._

 _"I went outside and confronted him and, thinking he was going on dates with some chick, I asked him who the girl was. I had no idea he was actually bringing the roses to his mom at the fucking cemetery. You have no idea how much I felt like an asshole._

 _"So we sat in front of Mary's headstone for a little while before going back home. To be honest, it kind of sucked to see him leave, but I sure loved the view watching him go." Castiel wiggled his eyebrows playfully._

* * *

The video ended.

Dean both laughed and cried through the short video. He loved seeing his fiance happy, even if it wasn't now.

"Guess when the last one was recorded," Gabriel said, looking at Dean expectantly.

"When?" Dean asked softly.

"March nineteenth," Gabriel said.

Dean's heart fluttered. "That was the night-"

"The night you proposed to him." Gabriel scrolled to the bottom of the videos and clicked on it.

* * *

 _Castiel propped up the camera, both his smile and eyes wide. "Okay, I just can't contain my exci_ _tement right now." Castiel's voice shook with happiness as he held his hand up to the camera. "Dean proposed to me!"_

 _Castiel coughed a little and stepped off to the side to take a drink of water. When he turned back to the camera, tears were clouding his eyes. "To be honest, I didn't think I would live to see this day. I thought that when I was diagnosed with leukemia last year, I thought for sure that Dean wouldn't stick around, even if he did promise it that day. I thought he'd get sick of babysitting me." Castiel let out a loud, happy laugh. "Evidently not."_

 _A joyful tear slid down Castiel's face and he made no move to wipe it away. "I can't wait. I can't wait to grow old with the man I love." He chuckled softly again. "I can't wait to see how amazing our life will turn out."_

 _He coughed a little harder that time, covering his mouth with his hands. When he pulled his hands back, his eyes widened, but not in a good way. "Fuck," He mumbled. Blood trickled between his fingers and dripped onto the counter._

 _Castiel stood up off the chair and swayed a little bit. He clutched the side of the counter to steady himself. "Ugh, shit. My head." His hand shot up to his forehead and he clenched his eyes shut._

 _Castiel took a step forward, but fell backwards, knocking his glass of water to the floor and shattering it._

 _A couple seconds later, Dean and Gabriel run in-_

* * *

Gabriel stopped the video. Dean clenched his eyes shut as the tears finally did fall. "Dammit," He mumbled. "Dammit, I miss him so fucking much, Gabe."

"I know, Dean-o." Gabriel gave him a side hug. "I miss him too." He paused. "Do you regret it?"

"Regret it?" Dean squinted in confusion. "Meeting Cas?" Gabriel nodded and Dean scoffed. "Fuck no. I may have only known him for a year, but he made a bigger impact on my life than you could imagine."

Gabriel smiled. "That's good to hear."

Dean laughed sadly. "And just think. Our entire meeting could have been easily avoided. You could've just not cared. I could've just gotten flowers from a regular store instead of his garden." He looked at the rose bush from the front porch and gave it a small smile.

"Here, let's watch another video," Gabriel said. He clicked on one titled April 16, 2015.

Dean loved Castiel, it didn't take a genius to figure that out. Dean hated that he was gone, but he was happy he wasn't in pain anymore. He watched the audio diary of Castiel telling the camera about the rose bushes he planted and grinned. Maybe everything would be okay. Maybe he wouldn't love anyone as much as he loved Castiel, but that's okay. He still had Gabriel who, granted, was like a brother to him, but he was Castiel's family. And that was the closest he was going to get to Castiel.

Dean grinned as he thought to himself, _I still have his roses. I can visit him every day if I want to. I'm still able to talk to him. I'll bring both him and mom a rose each time I visit._

Roses. Both with Castiel when he was living and will be there for him when he's not.

 _Roses._

* * *

 **Aaaaaaaaaand that's the end! I hope no one stopped reading this because they were angry with it, but, if you did, I guess I'll never know.**

 **Anyway, thank you for taking the time to read this story, even if it was heart-wrenching. I'm at least hoping I made someone cry.**

 **If anyone's looking for a story to negate all this angst with fluff, you can read my story _Thanks to the Little Ones_ which I'm now going to be working on a sequel to (which is why I was trying to hurry this up a little). **

**Again, thank you for reading! Please comment if I made you cry (trying to win a bet with a friend)**


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